At twenty he was was nothing more than a “Deadman Walking”! You could see it. It was obvious. What happened to him? This boy who was “Happy go lucky” and could light up any occasion, at any time, no longer exists. He has withdrawn himself into a shell. His energy, his power, his will to live... it's all gone. He is left with nothing but utter despair.
Four years ago, when he was around 16 years old, his superhero AKA Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. He knew cancer was bad, scary and fatal. Being a son of a Doctor, he knew how cancer could destroy the daily life, the smallest little things of a family. But, he never thought that it was this bad until his dad was diagnosed with it.
He would overhear someone telling his mom, “He is living on borrowed time, just ease his pain”, “Doctors have given up hope, only God could save him”. Hearing all this he was very confused and pained.
He would wonder why this had to happen to his old man who was kind, honest and God-fearing. His dad was such a blessing to so many, giving medical care for free when they couldn’t afford it. He was like a miracle doctor, who cured many sick patients and now, he is counting his days and hours. He just couldn’t believe it!
A few years ago, every morning was full of laughter! His Dad wasn’t just a Dad but was more of a friend.
Times like,
when he got a D- in an exam, “ its OK, let this be our secret, Mumma doesn't need to know it”!
When he stole a bundle of beedi from a watchman’s pocket and smoking with Friends, Dad was “Dude, that stinks, try this, and passed him a cigarette, telling him, trust me, not as your father, but as your Doctor, smoking is injurious to health.
Walking back to his pew after receiving Holy Communion, Dad whispered, “ So, you like her ah, she’s pretty, did you tell her, you gotta make it look obvious”, he was blushing and said, “Dad, please”
Every time the family sat over the dining table, mumma insisted that everyone recite a Bible verse and his competition with his Dad for the verse, “ The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall not be in want”, for that's the only verse that the Father-Son duo knew.
His dad is gone now leaving him helpless, scared and lonely. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. Its almost a year since he looked into his mother’s eyes. He avoided eye contact with his mother as the pain in her eyes, destroyed him.
Since coming from the cemetery that day, after burying his dad, all he could hear people saying to him were “You are the man of the house”, “Take care of your Mother”, “Your Sister needs you to be Strong”!
He tried to do his best for his mom and for his sister while grieving for his dad inside, putting on a brave front outside. But the pain of not having his dad around was taking a toll on him. He started to feel like he had no energy left in him to go on.
Then it happened. Another long weekend and another road trip. He just didn’t want to be home as it would once again be the same old chorus! He was out on his bike and rode more than 100 miles before realizing that he doesn't know where he was headed.
He stopped his bike to light a cigarette and felt the fast gushing wind on his face. Looking up, what he saw amazed him. Hundreds of windmills rolling in harmony, reminding him of synchronized swimming. There was a notice that said, “These Windmills help surrounding Village to remain Lit”. He took his eyes off the Windmills and saw those villages. They were sparkling! Wow, “ Renewable Energy”!
At that moment something in him changed. He started to wonder, about the wind!
He was amazed at how the wind that just brushed him could be turned into power that keeps the villages going, helps children do their homework at night, helps the hospitals keep patients alive, keeps temperature cold in summer and hot in winter!
Then it hit him! Dad’s life was like the windmill. He didn’t let the wind brush him and pass by.
He was like a windmill turning the wind to power so others benefit from its energy and service. Now he had a choice to make. Either be the wind and pass by or turn the wind into energy like a windmill to be useful.
He turned the bike around and this time he knew where exactly he was headed! What took him hours earlier, now felt like few seconds to get back. He reached home and rang the bell. It was his mother who opened the door. For the first time in a long time, he had the courage to look straight into her eyes!
She has grown old he thought. He never realized how one year, three hundred sixty-five days could age somebody this bad.
“You look, different Son, Where were you?”
“Energy mumma.. Renewable energy! I kind of get it, mumma! I just can't be dwelling in the thoughts of Dad. I must let go the wind! I gotta be like a windmill. Like how Dad was!”
Mom looked confused!
“ I don't get it, son”!
“You gotta see this place mumma! It spoke to me! Just a few Windmills made out of simple Iron blades, producing so much to keep thousands of people alive. It is all about renewing your energy Mumma, you gotta see it”
“I don't need to travel hundreds of miles to see a Windmill to renew my energy son”
“But Mumma, its real, you’d be surprised, how it helped me to recharge myself, I now have a purpose mumma, you gotta see it”
“Its OK, Son, Call your Sister, let's have a family dinner” She couldn't remember when was the last time they sat together for a dinner.
He ran to his Sister’s room, knock knock,
“How many times I told you not to knock like that, I can't guess whether it is you or Dad’? It took her a few seconds to realize Dad is not going to knock anymore!
“Sis, you gotta come and visit this place with me”! This place has just renewed me”!
“What's so special about this place!!?”
“I can't explain it. It's just the “feel of it”. The Windmill, the way it stands still and take the wind and magically produces electricity, which keeps people alive, children study, parents cook, roads lit, it's amazing. It just told me that we just can't be “down and out” about Dad, we need to step it up and be like him”!
Sister had the funniest sarcastic smile that she inherited from her Dad.
“What's so funny!?”
“Dude, Mom and I don't need to travel miles to see a windmill to renew our energy, we have it at home. YOU ARE OUR ENERGY, thank you so much for being the man of the house, and being there for Mom and staying strong for me, that's exactly what Dad was for us”
Mumma yelled, “ Dinner is ready”!
They sat, and this time he without any competition or hurry, said,” The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall not be in Want”!
And mumma Smiled, for she knew that her son meant it!
